Thursday 24 August 2006

A Conversation I Wish I'd Never Had to Have

A year or three ago I was staying over at a boyfriend's place and was brushing my teeth when he came into the bathroom. This was a not entirely uncommon occurrence as we often would brush our teeth together before bed. ( A la Mad About You)

"What are you doing?" I asked, toothbrush halted mid-brush.
"Going to the bathroom." He replied.
"But you're sitting down." I pointed out, helpfully waving my toothbrush in his general direction.
"Yep. Just like I said," he chortled, "I'm going to the bathroom."
"But...(horrified silence as he picked up a magazine) But, I'm in here! I'm brushing my teeth!" I spluttered.
"Ahhhhh, the romance is dead." He said, grinning at me.
"Gah! ACK! Teeth! Germs! Poison! Death! GROSS!!!! (And other assorted garblings)" I squealed as I ran out.

The romance did indeed die that night.

It wasn't entirely his fault, he was a good guy. He just wasn't aware that I grew up a delicate flower with the understanding that pooping is a private thing and one does not discuss, nevermind allow someone else to witness, one's ... pooping-ness or state of poop-osity.

Because while I'll admit toilet humour can be mildly amusing at times? Being the butt of toilet humour*? Not so much.




*Heh heh. I said butt!

6 comments:

Victoria said...

Oh come on! No comments on this post? I can't be the only person who has gone through this trauma... right? Right? People? Anyone? Hello? McFly? Bueller?

Anonymous said...

Lol, yeah, it happened to me too. With my ex, who I was with for 4 years so apparently he felt we knew each other well enough for that type of sharing. I did not agree, and this one just one of the many nails in the coffin containing that dead relationship.

And you want extra weird? He sat on the toilet also. To pee. Not something I thought men were capable of.

Victoria said...

AHHHHHHHHHH!(Sorry for the caps but...)MINE DID TOO!!!!!!!!!! (with the sitting to pee, which yeah I didn't know any men did that!!!)

I've actually had two exes who did that. The first one I was flabbergasted!

( and guys? we don't need to hear that you do it too. Please don't flood the comments with your sitting to pee stories)

(and also? don't poop in front of us please. ever. EVER! )

(thanks)

Victoria said...

Gah! GAH!!!!!!!!!

Must now go wash brain out with bleach to remove that image from my mind.


*hides in corner, rocking*

Anonymous said...

Ummm... lost for words... ewwww! If ever the Galaxy Quest exclamation of "That's not right!" was applicable, this would be that time...

Ewww.....

Victoria said...

lol.

yep!