Monday 14 August 2006

To the Guy I Met for Coffee

Dear Coffee Guy,

I'm sorry that five minutes in to our "not a date" we ran into my ex. That didn't leave me in the openest of mindsets. I maybe should have called it an afternoon right then and headed home.

Or maybe I should have headed home when you started talking about porn.

Running into that particular ex + you telling me about your favourite kind of porn? = Not. Good. Date. Karma.

So, C.G., thank you for my caffeinated beverage (I don't drink coffee, which makes it awkward when someone asks me if I'd like to "go for coffee") and please lose my number.


To Any Single Males Reading:


When a girl you don't know very well goes all quiet after running into an ex-boyfriend of hers? It's probably a good idea not to start discussing the intricacies of less than delicate things you have run into on the interwebs. Also? If you really like her? Maybe suggest you call it an early night and continue some other time.

Oh, and? Let's change the phrase from "Do you want to grab coffee sometime?" to "Do you want to grab coffee or something sometime?" Because a) some of us don't like coffee, and b) coffee breath is stinky and makes me not want to kiss you.

Thank you.

2 comments:

danish said...

Oh-ho, good call Coffee Guy, good call. I'd like to hear what you were thinking, right before you brought up the porn. Was it something like, "Aw man. I guess that's her ex she just saw. It's getting quiet and awkward... umm... say something... think of something...okay, PORN! GO!"

...was that such a good idea?

...talk about speaking what's on your mind...

Victoria said...

I know! lol. "umm... say something..... um.. PORN!"

that's funny : )