Friday 1 September 2006

My Blender is Like a Relationship

I have this blender. I bought it to make protein shakes. And Margaritas. It wasn't cheap, but it wasn't expensive either. I like it. It has a handy function that lets you dispense the drink you've made into your glass one handed. But it's not perfect.

If you put it together wrong, it completely fucks up. It leaks. Everywhere. It makes you swear a lot because you now have to clean up AND you still don't have your drink because it's now all over the counter and floor and possibly in the drawer a little bit, you'll have to check.

You have to work really hard at putting it together correctly. Sometimes it's really frustrating and you just want to take it back to the store and buy a new one, one without so many parts, one that just works already! Consistently! Sometimes it jams up a little and doesn't work as well as it should. But that's usually because you've tried something different and the experimenting has gotten in the way of the blades, or the spout, or something else you would have known about if you'd bothered to read the instructions and find out what you're not supposed to do. But if you're patient, and walk away from it when it's really annoying, and not fitting back together properly, and come back when you're calm? It works really well. In fact, it's awesome. Easy to use, quick to clean.

But I rarely read instructions. I'm not good with being patient. And I get frustrated when things don't work smoothly and easily every time.

My blender and I, we get along just fine. If I take time and stay calm when I'm cleaning it and putting it back together, it's fine. If I do the things that I know work and avoid the things that gum it up, it works. If I don't compare it to the fancier, shinier models in the stores, I'm happy. If I walk away when I'm frustrated and come back when I'm calm, I can make it work without leaking. My blender does what I need it to do. It's just not perfect.

My blender is like a relationship: Sometimes frustrating, needs patience, not perfect. Often rewarding.

Once you accept all these things about your blender and your relationship? It's great! You can live happily ever after.

(Or, you can go splurge on a super expensive shiny stainless steel model and discover that you miss the old one terribly but now you can't have it back because you gave it away to someone and aren't they so happy together now and you never knew what you were missing but damn. . . the new one does make a good Bellini)

6 comments:

danish said...

I've been meaning to tell you how much I really like this post of yours. I think if anyone is in a long term relationship, has been there a while and is starting to doubt some things, that they might want to consider reading this post. It's reaffirming. =)

...not that I'm lucky enough to be in a nice, long term relationship now or anything. But still. ^_^

Victoria said...

I'm glad you like it : D I quite liked it too. Both for the bizarre comparison that jumped into my head, but also because, yeah... even though things might not be perfect, it may not be the best answer to just chuck it out!

I'll remind myself of this next time I'm in a relationship and my fella starts to snore at 2 am or something ; )

Anonymous said...

I love to blend too V... it's quite therapeutic. Although, just like you, I had similar hassles with my blender so I got me one of those whizz stick things.

Now I just chuck whatever I want whizzed (?!) into a large cup and then I whizz (?!) away... gee I'm going to have to think of a better word than whizz though as it sounds like I'm on the loo! lol

Anyhoo, my blender has been jealous ever since.

Victoria said...

Oh my gosh, Ryan, there is just so much I could say about you and your whizz stick! lol

I'll refrain ; )


Except, maybe I'll say "I'm glad you enjoy your whizz stick!"

giggle giggle

Anonymous said...

*forced cough*

Umm... yes V.

*blushing*

And to think that a mate wondered why I got all defensive when he wanted to handle my whizz stick and put it in ice!

*cough*

roflmao

;op

Victoria said...

Hee hee!

I was laughing so hard at your comment, Ryan that I got all befuddled and ...well, long story short, it's there anyway! : )

Whizz stick in ice. Oh! Shrinkage?

LOL