Wednesday 8 November 2006

Liar, Liar, Soul on Fire


This past weekend, I became a Godparent. It was an honour to be asked, especially considering I love the kid to pieces and am happy to be a part of her life.

I'm not the real, official, Godparent seeing as I'm not Catholic, but I was allowed to be a part of the ceremony, which was cool.

I do believe in a God of some sort. A higher being, something out there greater than me. And because I think of myself as a spiritual person I did not feel like a hypocrite as I answered the questions the priest asked.

I was answering "I do" and "I will" at all the proper times when I ran into a problem. A moral dilemma. A crisis of faith?

You see, the priest was asking us if we rejected Satan.

For sure, I thought to myself. I'm all over the rejecting of Satan and his evil ways. Satan is bad. Boo Satan.

"I do!" I responded.

Then, the priest asked us if we rejected all of Satan's temptations.

Hang on here just a second, said my brain. ALL of his temptations? I don't know about that. I mean, I'm totally cool with rejecting murder and adultery and all that.... but I'm not sure about rejecting the whole pre-marital sex thing. And rock and roll? Yeah, I like that too. Uh oh...

I felt stuck. I didn't want to interrupt the whole ceremony to ask if I could maybe reject, like, 98% of Satan's temptations and still be an OK Godparent or if that would exempt me from the job?

So, I lied. In church. Before God and everyone, I nodded and said that yes, I rejected all of Satan's temptations. Every last one. ( Even the sex before being married one.)

And then I waited

To be smote. Or struck down.

But, God didn't smite me, for He is wise and knows the goodness of my heart and stuff.

He did, however, allow me to forget my cell phone at the place I was staying at, thus rendering me cell phoneless for the foreseeable future. He wanted me to know He was mildly unamused by my fibbing, I think.

I've learned my lesson.

Along with not murdering and not cheating on a spouse and stuff, I promise I will teach my Godchild to not tell lies in church.

7 comments:

dilling said...

amen

Victoria said...

indeed, sister! : )

shelleycoughlin said...

I just had to do the same thing last week, it was quite the moral dilemma. Then I thought, what the hell? And amused myself by imagining that Jesus lived in the box where they kept the Communion wafers.

Teena in Toronto said...

I'm also a godmother. Both parents aren't religious so there was no official ceremony. They asked me, I was honoured and said yes. They live in Burnaby, though, and I warned them that their daughter would be raised in Toronto. They are okay with that. But, of course, nothing is going to happen to them.

Victoria said...

Nancy: That's hilarious! There were a couple of moments where I had to remind myself this was not the time, nor the place to burst out laughing. I pulled through. I might not have made it if I'd been picturing Jesus in the wafer box!
; )

Teena: Yeah, it's a nice honour isn't it? *feels all proud n stuff* : )

Anonymous said...

Living in the UK, these ceremonies typically happen in countryside churches that are a thousand years old.

I would suggest that you were not struck by lightning or "smote" because nothing really exists to do that.

The same state that needed to stop anarchy in the dark ages started building the churches to control us.

Isn't it scary that a thousand years later, people are still spooked by the dogma thats been rammed into childrens minds for generations.

Victoria said...

Yeah.... but it's funny too ; )