Tuesday 15 May 2007

Crystal Clear


I'd give a whole lot for a crystal ball right now.

The ability to see into the future would give me some clarity in a situation that currently has very little.

I'm very very good at second guessing myself. I super-analyze every decision and then once I make a decision I super-analyze it all over again, never fully trusting if it was the right thing to do.

How do you make those big decisions? And, how do you support yourself once you've made them?

If I had that crystal ball, I'd at least be able to congratulate myself on doing the right thing. Or, conversely, beat myself up for doing the wrong thing. Instead, I seem to beat myself up for doing something that may or may not turn out to be the right or wrong thing.

Sure, I *know* things will be ok. Eventually. I just want to know I'm doing what's right. I just want to know how it's all going to turn out.

I guess I'd like to see how my "happily ever after" turns out, you know?

2 comments:

danish said...

It would be nice, sometimes, if life was like one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" children's books.

For some reason, I always chose the way that got the kids in the snake pit or captured by the evil dude or whatever, so I was happy that I could just go back to page 58 and choose to make a left at the fork instead of a right.

Maybe if you run around in a circle and click your red heels five times (or something like that), you can teleport out of there and hang out in Jamaica for a while.

Anyways, I hope you're feeling better =)

Victoria said...

mmmmmm.... Jamaica.


I totally remember those books, and heck yes I'd love live to be like that.... "whoops, gotta back up a few pages to get out of the dark cave!"