Happy Hogmanay My Loves, May 2008 Bring You All You Wish For And More.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gies a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Hi!

I'm here, just a little out of it.

Christmas was good and flashed past with double the people around our table from when I was growing up.

Then there was busy stuff and more busy stuff and now I have a cold to fight off so all I'm up to today and tomorrow is napping.

It's not so bad really!

I'll see youse soon though. Just not todazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When The Bell Tolls One, God Bless Us Everyone

"I don't know anything,
I never did know anything,
But now I know,
That I don't know,
All on a Christmas morning...
I must stand on my head!"



"What an intelligent boy. A remarkable boy!"



Best. Movie. Ever.



I love the idea that we can all become who we're meant to be if we could just "come to our senses" and realize that's it's not about money but about love and caring.



If I'm not around in the next few days I hope that you're making very merry with your family, friends, loved ones, or whoever you're surrounding yourselves with right now.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Best of the season to you.


Love and joy to you and yours.

You Know

You know it's been a while when you go through your purse, find condoms you'd forgotten you put in there and discover that they're expired.

You know you've moved on when you can't even come up with a person to fantasize about.

You know it's the longest day of the year when you leave the house in the dark and come home in the dark!


Happy Winter Solstice all.*


Your turn now. What do you know?


*Well all y'all in the Northern Hemisphere anyway!

I Friggin Love Kids

A is for Alphabet

You know how sometimes you click on a link on someone's blog and then you click on another link there and so on and so on?

Well, yeah. I did that this weekend and someone somewhere out there had a post with a title similar to this one.

But much further down the alphabet line, so to speak.

It got me thinking that maybe I could use it as inspiration for posts when I'm stuck for stuff to say. Like, now. And stuff.

So thanks, person out there in cyberspace!



PS I may have to go away for a little while here, I'll let you know.

Don't Go Changing

Change is hard.

Whether the change is forced upon you or self inflicted, chosen, directed, whatevered, it's still hard.

Some people do well with change, thrive on it, seek it out, enjoy it. (I'm not one of those people, in case you were wondering.) But change is still hard. Difficult.

And change is hardest when you're trying to change how you walk through your life because the people around you also don't like change and while they may not know they're doing it, sometimes they make it very hard for you to change.

Once, when I was going through a particularly bad patch in my life, my brother told me he didn't care if I became a "Bible basher" as long as I was happy. I've always remembered him saying that and I love the sentiment. I'm just not sure how it would work out in real life. Family is like that. They like you just the way they've always known you, even if that way hasn't been great for you.

Small changes I've made around my family do not go un-noticed. My family is famous for backhanded comments so while I'm carefully taking the paper out of the garbage and putting it into the recycling bin, for example, it's not unusually for a few "tree hugger, tofu eater" type comments to be thrown my way. I'm not known for having the toughest skin, especially around my family so it makes things hard.

Now, I'm not saying I'm going to suddenly walk into my parents' house on Christmas day and announce that I'm getting a sex change operation and could they all call me Victor now please, I'm just saying that making changes in your life and in yourself is hard enough. Trying to maintain these changes becomes even more difficult with family. Especially if you're not quite sure what these "changes" would look like.

How is it with you? Would your parents and family support you no matter what? Do they already? Have you become someone your family didn't think you "really" were? Or do you just figure family is family?

I know I can't expect them to go changing, but I do think back to what my brother said. What would they all do if I walked in and had become a different version of myself? If I insisted we all spend an hour each evening discussing the Bible or my love of tofu and dreadlocks? Would they be happy as long as I was?

Something to wonder about, that's for sure.

Analyze This!

The other morning I had this dream I can't quite figure out.

I was in my bed at the house I last lived in with my parents. Except the bed was bigger and more comfortable and had flowy white sheets and covers n stuff and I don't know why I was living there.

Lying next to me was my boyfriend (some kinda super hot hybrid of Smith and this guy) and it was morning time in the dream too. I guess he was staying over at my parents' for a visit, but had snuck into my room since we (obviously) weren't allowed to sleep together under my parents' roof. (And, yes, this rule still stands.) But in the dream we had just slept together, nothing more, but we were naked. *shrug*

So, anyway, I rolled over and started seducing this boyfriend of mine with kisses on his adorably freckled back. (I know, wild and crazy, huh?) And, as these things go, he started to get... uh... interested... and turned towards me.

Just as the dream was about to get interesting and his hand was inches away from making contact with my thigh (seriously, it was the hottest G-rated dream ever) he burst into tears. "But what about the soldiers?" he sobbed. "They all died!"

And that was the end of that. No dream nookie for me. Sigh. What was that all about, y'all?

I'm figuring the soldiers thing must be Smith related, no?

Call to Action

Waiting For the World To Change
John Mayer

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

 
John Mayer - Waiting On The World To Change

I think it's time we stop waiting. The world's not going to change if we all just sit back and wait.

It's time for change. Make it.

We have the power to bring our neighbours home from war.
We have the means to rise above and beat the power of everything that's going on in the world.
We have the strength to stand for something.

Make change. Stop waiting.

The world won't change if we don't ask it/tell it/force it to.

Let's be done waiting.

Find your change. Be it.

Dude.

I did it again!

$44.77 in the first shop and $50.50 in the next.

Sweet.

Heh

It's a rainy Sunday evening and I decide that after the gym I should pick up some milk and crazy glue. (I know, it's an odd combination, but I bought someone a cute Christmas ornament and the top popped off so I figured I'd glue it back on. Plus, I ran out of milk. I may have purchased chocolate too, I'm pretending that I can't remember, but you know I did!)

As I leave the store the guy coming towards me is checking me out so I decide, what the heck, I may as well return the favour and see if he's cute. And as we're doing the whole "hey hot stuff I'm checking you out" thing we both realize that we, in fact, know each other (fairly intimately!) and while he keeps on walking with his girlfriend we exchange amused "Hey! How are you? Good!"s with each other and keep on walking.

I find myself terribly amused by the whole thing, partly because it reminded me that I have good taste in guys (dude is hot) and because I never thought this guy was the most trustworthy and there he was checking me out while wandering around with his lady friend. Oh, and because it means I'm still super hot even after sweating it out at the gym on a Sunday night.

Go me!

Balance

is hard to find.

isn't as straightforward as it seems.

is something that when you're not in it, seems fleeting.

is the most important thing.

is where I want to be in all things.

is groovy.

You May Not Understand This

But I'm crying right now because I missed this:

The set:
Good Times Bad Times
Ramble On
Black Dog
In My Time Of Dying
For Your Life
Trampled Under Foot
Nobody's Fault But Mine
No Quarter
Since I've Been Loving You
Dazed And Confused
Stairway To Heaven
The Song Remains The Same
Misty Mountain Hop
Kashmir
Whole Lotta Love
Rock And Roll

I know I'll never be able to see Bonham, that's sad enough, but I've already seen Page and Plant and would really like to see John Paul Jones. I think he's the most overlooked member of my true loves.

D'you Know What I Mean?

Anyone else eat Stoned Wheat Thins?

Anyone else ever get a box that just tastes so damn perfect you never want it to end?

Anyone?

Help me out here.

If You Live in This Part of The World

Check this guy out.

Honestly?

Okay. This is not a delicate post. If you're sweet and innocent and not wanting to read about things like man parts, (or are my Mom) go here instead.

You've been warned!

I've been getting a lot of spam lately about my penis.

Now you and I know I don't have one, but none of the spammers seem to be aware of this minor detail.

Apparently were I a man and my d!ck was bigger, I'd finally make my lady happy, I'd be able to stop paying for sex, and I'd be fighting the ladies off. Amongst other things.

Which makes me wonder. Who's believing this stuff?

In all honesty, the best sex I've ever had was with a guy who wasn't particularly big. And some of the er, less enjoyable sex has been with guys who were biggerly endowed.*

So I need your help, y'all. I need to find out if I'm the odd one out here. Ladies, do you honestly wish most of the guys you've been with were larger? Guys, do you really think we want you to have bigger schlongs? Do you really think it makes our sexual experience better?

For me? Bigger is not better. In fact, it's often worse. But maybe that's just me.

What say you? Let's be honest here. Are the spammers onto something? Does it even matter?

Honestly? Does a bigger you-know-what equal better sex?

I vote unequivocally no.



*Well, if I wasn't still a virgin, of course. I'm just speculating from things I've heard.

Hmmmmm....

OK, so this is a little odd...

When I turned off comment moderation, I made sure that Blogger was sending your comments to my email so that I could see that I had a new comment and respond. (I love comments, yay!)

But today only every third or fourth comment is getting forwarding. It's odd.

I'm hoping that it's just a glitch today, but if for some reason I don't respond or say anything to a comment from you, it's not that I'm ignoring you, it's that I didn't know it was there. ( I don't love not knowing I have new comments, boo!)

So yeah. Here's hoping it sorts itself out.

Sharing Time

I think it's time we get to know each other even better, don't you?

I was thinking about it. I think sometimes it's easier to share things with people who are relative strangers than it is to share with people who know you. Which got me thinking...

What's something I probably wouldn't find out about you if we knew each other "in real life"?

Me? I kind of collect stamps.

I just never tell anyone about it because it's a little embarrassing. You know?

And no, I don't know what the photo has to do with anything. It's no secret that I like taking photos. (Insert suspicious voice here ) Or eeees it?

What about you?

Warm Fuzzies

Hey, thanks y'all, for being so nice n supportive and kind and stuff.


What you had to say really helped cheer me up. You're awesome.


I knew there was a reason I loved you guys so much!

Keep the good stuff coming.

And, thanks.

The Update I Really Don't Feel Like Making

I've mulled this post over for a couple of days and figure it's bothering me enough that I may as well babble it out here.

That helps sometimes.

Smith emailed me last week.

I'd had a few phone calls from him recently, but was never home to get them and although he said he'd call back he never did and I was relieved.

It meant I didn't have to try to figure out how to talk to him or what to say. So when he didn't call again I just figured he was moving on and it was all good. I really had nothing more to say to him anyway.

But then he emailed me. I was pretty surprised, to be honest, and not altogether thrilled. He caught me up on what his plans are (probably spy school and buying a house) and finished off by asking me if I'd met anyone since my posts here didn't really tell him much.

I was floored.

And disappointed.

And knowing that he still reads here, I didn't really want to talk to y'all about it, but I figure it might help. (And I figured that if I watch too much about what one person might think about what I say I'll never write what I'm really going through/feeling.) So I'm trying to write this as if he doesn't, but it's hard to do.

I guess I'd just hoped...well I don't know what I'd hoped.

I'd hoped that we had nothing more to say to each other because I don't want to have to small talk with him and I don't have any more conversation in me to have with him. He's not someone I can share my life with anymore; he chose differently.

And I guess I'm disappointed that he turned out to be someone different from who I'd thought he was. And I guess I'm pissed that things we talked about him doing (and things I hoped would let us have a life together) while we were together are things he's doing now anyway.

It's annoying me that one little email has gotten so under my skin and I'm hoping it'll get better with time.

Well, I know it will... been there, done that, right?

It felt,though, the day after the email, like one step forwards, one step back, but I realize that it's more like a hundred steps forward, one step back.

It's just a bummer.

I had moved on from Smith, with maybe only an occasional not superly positive thought about him. Now I feel a little annoyed and angry and hurt again and I'm not enjoying being back in that spot.

Didn't help much that this weekend the whole rest of the island got a dumping of snow (and the mainland) and I got rain and a bit of sleety snain (I made that word up, cool, eh?) that was disappointing.

Plus a cool chick at work left on Friday and Monday's going to be bit lonely without her.

Guess it wasn't the best of weekends, eh?

I wish Smith well, don't get me wrong, I just don't want to keep in touch anymore... it doesn't seem to work for me staying "friends" with Exes. Maybe I'll want to talk to him again someday, just not now.

Actually, now that I think more about it, I think maybe I just had a bit of a downer weekend. I've had three people call me today alone talking about how awesome the snow is and how much I must be loving it and I keep having to say "Well, no, it didn't snow here at all somehow."

It really sucked.

It bummed me out and I guess it got me thinking down the drain hole a little.

Here's to a better week this week and to another hundred steps forward.

Here's to not needing to look back.

I'm So Totally On A Roll

You guys'll never guess what happened now!

I've won an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbean and all I have to do is press 9, that's nine on the number key now.

It's too bad I was out when those nice people called, but I'm sure they'll call back about the trip I won soon.

Go me!