Wednesday 17 June 2009

Reaction


Ran into Bird this weekend.

Yep, Bird.

Wasn't expecting it, but it didn't seem weird to see him as I've been thinking about him lately.

Not in any romantic way, just in a sort of "gee, I wonder what he's up to and miss him" kind of way.

What I realized this weekend, when seeing him made me want to cry and run in the opposite direction, or possibly run in the other direction while crying, is that I guess I fell back into believing some sort of magical thinking version of him might be what was real. And maybe that imaginary version of him would come back into my life and fill my "snuggle void". (A term I've just made up!)

So it was good and not good to see him and I'm ok, but it took a good long venting talk with a girlfriend to make me feel better.

I have to say though, I was surprised by how strong my reaction to him was. I really thought I'd moved far far on from all that.

8 comments:

Dominic said...

I've noticed myself that there are some people who you can think everything's completely fine with.. so long as they're absent. But as soon as you see them or speak to them, suddenly the floodgates open and you get hit by a torrent you didn't even suspect was there.

The human mind, eh? Before God made it, He broke the mould ;)

Victoria said...

Totally :)

Anonymous said...

To add to what Dominic said, I personally think all my ex's should be moved to Christmas Island (where us Brits test our nuclear weapons) when we split... it would be so much easier.

Yay Vic... talking about blokes! "advice from a Single Girl" has been lacking in the blokey talk recently (for obvious reasons), so it's good to hear something!

And I'm sooooo stealing "cuddle void". Someone in my world vacated that space a long time ago and I'm still crying. Good phrase though!

Laura said...

Ahhhh I've been missing this kind of post from you as well! More, more!

Sometimes I wish I could have a cuddle buddy. A friend with cuddling benefits. I really miss cuddling a lot more than sex when I'm not in a relationship.

Ms Behaviour said...

Your Bird cuddle void sounds a lot like my Grey cuddle void. Sigh.

Victoria said...

Mark, can we send my exes to Christmas Island too? :)

Laura, I agree! I miss cuddling more than sex (pretty much) ;)

Double sigh EB

Anonymous said...

The 'snuggle void'? That is the most perfect phrase I have heard in weeks.

Victoria said...

:)