Hogmanay

Amidst all the retrospective, 2009 reviewing that's going on, I'm tempted to do more, but I had a good year. I liked 2009. I even liked saying it. Two thousand and nine. It sounded good. It felt good.

I'm not sure, exactly, what it is I hope for in this next year, this next decade, even, but I know it's good. Great.

That's my job for tonight. To sit down and make it more concrete. Figure out what I want. For real. Because it's always now or never, but decades remind you of the last time you sat at a ten-year-changeover and thought. And then you realize that (to quote Teh Floyd) ten years have got behind you. It happens whether you notice it or not.

Ten years since the panic of year two thousand and the world might just explode when the computers all fail.

But this isn't about the past, this post (although it certainly sounds like it, eh?) This is about the future and I honestly, honestly, feel like Dilling summed it up in her comment the other day. She said she wished me a "new year blessed with nothing other than vibrant, healthy, loving, non-perplexing situations in your family, friendships and personal relationships. . . . .truly . . . fingers and hearts crossed for you . . . . and all your inspiration."

I wish all of us, all of us, the same.

Happy New Year my friends.

I'm sending you love.

Well, Hi!

Hi! How are ya? How was your Christmas? Or non-Christmas? Or whatnot?

This is always a kind of strange week, what with it being mid-holidays and stats and not quite a "real" week but still sort of one and um, hi, did you know it's almost a new decade?

How the heck did that happen?

My holidays have been fine. Unfortunately mainly spent fighting this cold virus. Nasty thing. I have had some wickedly weird dreams though, without the help of cold medication even.

There was even one night where as soon as I found myself falling asleep I slipped right back into where the dream had ended the night before. Now that was weird. Cool idea for a movie or something, if I could remember enough of it.

And there was the "I'm pregnant!"* dream where I went around telling people at work I was a month pregnant and that was weird to wake up from. But man was I excited in the dream.

I think I have tendonitis of the pointer finger, if that's a thing and I really enjoyed this book. (The hunky Clive Owen on the cover got many a kiss as I was reading it. Just... because.)

I slept 15 hours on Boxing Day night. That was an accomplishment. Must have needed it, eh?

So all is well on my front. . . . how about yours?




* Just to clarify, I'm not. Really not. No chance.

Mixed

Using last year's Christmas photo again because a) it's pretty and b) I've been floored by a nasty virus.

So while I'm looking forward to some time off work and seasonal celebrations, I'd really like some time off work and sleeping.

Hoping to be on the mend by the time I'm back in town from Christmas holidays, so I'll wish you all a happy, warm, love-filled Christmas and I'll see you soon.

Hugs,
Victoria

It's All Relative

I was chatting with some of my co-spy-workers today about how much warmer it's been.

There was a pause and I tilted my head in that way that dogs do when they're confused and pointed out that by "warmer" we mean "above zero."

And it's true. After that brrr spell we had the other week, it gets to plus two and we're all, whew, sure is warm these days!

It's kind of funny.

In completely unrelated news, I saw "Iron Man" last night and I loved it! Why didn't anyone tell me before? Well, I'm guessing someone did and I just didn't really listen, but I really enjoyed it, so yay!

And, last but not least for today, can I just say how very very glad I am that the days are starting to get longer again? So very glad, HURRAY!

Heh

I Know This Comic Is From Hallowe'en, But It Seemed Appropriate

Can I go back to sleep now?

The Things You Do Endear You To Me*

So, how *is* your December going?


* (Beatles again)

Look For The Girl With The Sun In Her Eyes But She's Gone*

We're going to have a staff Christmas party tonight. A bunch of spies and their spouses sitting around and having a blast together.

Because let me tell you, we're people who have a lot of steam to blow off.

And I think we invite spouses to limit the amount of spy talk that takes place, although some is inevitable.

What I'm looking forward to is the rumour I heard that someone's bringing Rock Band.

After a drink or two, I make a mean lead singer.

I've just never quite figured out the drums.

I'll leave that up to some other spy!

And, yes, I have a designated driver getting me home, so don't you worry.

Happy Friday, y'all!



* (Beatles, of course)

Won't Escape My Attention*

John Mayer has a twitter account that I check in with every once in a while (My favourite twitter account to check is actually Sundry's, but that's a whole other post.) Last week, he made a comment that's stuck with me ever since. I have it up on a sticky note and I keep looking at it. It's stuck itself in my psyche. It's a truth I'm going to keep on reminding myself:

For all the times we punish ourselves, very few times have we actually done something wrong.




* (Tears for Fears)

They Say That Things Just Can Not Grow Beneath The Winter Snow *

I've had a crush on a married man.

I even currently have a crush on a man who's engaged.

But I won't act on it.

Whenever there's infidelity, there are two people who do it. Two people who knowingly allow the cheating to happen.

I understand hormones and intensity and the appeal of the un-allowed, but there's someone else involved. A husband. A wife. A committed partner.

It's one thing to sit (as I do sometimes) and have dreamy thoughts about an unavailable co-worker. But to be the woman who sleeps with a married man is wrong. Where's the loyalty to your sisters? Where's the respect? Where's your self-worth?

Why do we always focus on the man. What about the woman who *knew* she was entering into a relationship with a man who was already IN a relationship?

I could never do that to another woman. I will never do that to another woman.

I wish we all felt the same way.

* (Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson)

This Is A Place That I Call My Home*

The passion of musicians inspires me. Moves me to tears.

My first serious boyfriend was a musician. Was a music student when I met him. I can barely remember how we met, but I think he was the friend of a guy who liked a girl I was friends with. Something like that.

I remember listening to him play late one night in the dark of a performance room we'd found open and there was moonlight shining in through one of the windows and the dusty beam of white light just barely illuminated the keys of the grand piano that he was bent over.

"He's channeling God." was the thought in my mind.

This from an 18 year old who'd never been to church.

He's channeling God.

And he was. He did.

I wonder what he's doing now.


* (The Cinematic Orchestra)

You Know It Hurts Me Deep Down Inside*

When I look back on Christmas photos from last year, it's the food I miss the most. Or, really, the food freedom. Like a photo of a gingerbread house reminds me that I used to be able to eat gingerbread houses, even if I didn't want to, at least I could.

I've had a rough week, stomach wise, which is always a little frustrating and scary and sometimes upsetting. I'm going back to the specialist in a month or so to say "hey, listen, are we sure about this diagnosis because I'm not feeling miraculously better, which is what the books promised."

I think the other thing I miss from last year is the snow, and I'm glad I do enjoy snow when it's here. I know winter's only just starting (but, um, hello, how did it get to be mid-December without me really noticing?) so I won't write it off yet, but still, I have photographic and blogographic proof of last year's snow.

Hmmmm. . . perhaps I'm feeling melancholy. Looking over this post it would certainly appear so, eh?

Let's lighten things up shall we?

First of all, a Happy Hanukkah to any/all of you who are celebrating it, and for all of us in this hemisphere, let's look forward to the fact that soon enough, the days are going to start getting longer again! Hurrah!




* I'm going to get some (if not all) of my titles this week from lines from random songs that play while I'm typing. If they match up with and/or inspire what I'm talking about all the better. Bonus points if you can figure out the song. (This is a Zep song.)

Um

Driving is weird.

No, seriously it is.

I realized this yesterday driving home from work.

We're sitting there, in a seat, holding on to a wheel pushing on a pedal that makes the seat we're sitting on move forward. And we're all just sitting there. Sitting there not doing anything in a thing that moves. But we don't.

We just sit there. It's so bizarre.

I almost had to pull over I weirded myself out so much.

Driving's weird.

Caught

I realized the other night that the fourth season of one of my favourite shows, Friday Night Lights, had started and I was able to catch up on a few episodes in a row.

I can't tell you how many times while watching those new episodes I found myself saying, out loud, "Man, I *love* this show." I really do love it and while I rarely make recommendations because I know not everyone shares my taste, I'm going to go ahead and recommend that show. It's good. Damn good.

Another thing I rarely rarely make a recommendation on is books, but once again, I'm going all out on a limb kinda thing here to tell you about these books I read. I plowed through these books. As in, would read a third of the book a night. As in, had to FORCE myself to stop reading them one night so I could sleep. And now that I've read the second book in the series, I'm already anticipating the August release of the final book in the trilogy.

So, knowing, once again, that my taste is not to everyone's ... uh, taste, I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed both "The Hunger Games" and its sequel "Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins.

It's been a while since I've enjoyed, thought about, replayed in my head, wanted to re-read immediately after finishing, couldn't stop reading, raced through books like that.

I love getting caught up in good story telling.

I really do.

Seriously!

It's been cold around these here parts these last few days.

And it's funny, because whenever I talk about it being cold, I feel like I have to qualify that statement.

Like, I know it's colder in other places and I know we're not in the minus twenties like some, but still, it's cold.

And if you don't believe me, I always refer back to a conversation I had in first year University with a gal who was born and raised in the Yukon. (That's a COLD place, people.) She told me that she felt it was colder here in Victoria and she wasn't sure why. She said something about how up North, it was a dry cold, but here it was a wet cold and so it got into your bones, and gosh darnit, if someone from the Yukon tells me it's cold here, I believe them!

(And, I overheard a conversation at the gym yesterday between two Ontario transplants saying about the same thing, how it was colder here than "back home" and how they hadn't been expecting cold weather here.)

But aaaaaanyway, it's been cold here. Like, just under freezing-ish. It's -2 at the moment, for example, which my handy dandy degree translating widget tells me is 28, which is kind of mildly cold since there's no wind to make it even wickeder and we're going down to -6 mid week (which don't make me rant about the lack of snow ok? but seriously, if it's going to be cold, it may as well snow amirite?)

The point of my pointing out that it's cold is so that I can tell you what I saw on the way home from work yesterday.

Because I had to do a double take.

Which I did.

Because as soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to tell you guys about it and I didn't want to be wrong.

So it's cold. And when it's cold, we wrap up to stay warm, yes? Yes.

Unless, of course, you are the twenty something year old gal I saw yesterday out walking her dog in her big old fluffy boots and her big old fluffy jacket and her little mini skirt.

AND HER BARE LEGS!

Seriously, I had the heat blasting in my car and gloves on and my fingers were still freezing cold and she was out there with a mini skirt and bare legs.

Dude.

Brrrrrrr.

It's Here

There was a bunch of fun Christmassy stuff that happened this weekend around town.

There was a lighted ship sailing parade a magigy, (one of a few that seem to happen around these here parts!) there was my favourite thing of the season, the lighted truck parade. There was a light up in Cook Street and singing in Cadboro Bay and downtown has carolers and free lit trolley rides and lights up all over and there was stuff in Sidney and all sorts of places I probably just didn't hear about and it's nice to see people doing nice things for others.

So now it's totally time for the snow to come!

Oh, And?

Further to yesterday's going to bed post, I realized something else from this weekend (and to a lesser extent, from yesterday morning.)

You probably don't know this about me, but I love sleeping in. Love, love, love it.

But, when I really think about it, (as I did this weekend) it's the snooze button that I really love.

The falling asleep again for "just a little while longer". I don't know if it's because it feels like I'm winning or getting away with something or if it's that it feels like a treat.

And, in case you think I'm exaggerating, I can hit snooze for hours.

That's right.

Hours!

These Thoughts Are From Three Days Ago, But They Still Count

I was so excited to climb into bed Friday night. (No, there wasn't anyone else waiting in there for me if that's what you're hoping / thinking / guessing.)

And when I asked myself why I was oh so very happy to lie myself down, it was because I knew I had two days off of work. Two days coming where I really didn't have to do anything if I didn't want to. Two days where I could, theoretically, not get out of bed at all and that would be perfectly ok.

It was just such a relaxing, reassuring thought. That I was going to bed and falling asleep into two free days. It was nice. Really nice.

F.Y.I.

Just so you know, I won't be in the malls any time in the next few weeks.

Or month, really.

Too many grumpy, stressed people being grumpy and stressed.

I'm going to stay home instead.

Or, at least, that's the plan!

Eeeee!

Guess what it might do soon?

I'm trying not to get too excited just in case it doesn't manage to quite happen.

But I think I'm maybe already too excited.

Because I likes it!

But I know not everyone else does.

So I haven't told very many people that I'm seriously excited that it might you-know-what soon!

Eeeeeeee!

Aw Nuts!

I read romance novels every once in a while. Usually on a beach during the summer, admittedly, but last month, after a trip to the used book store (Hello, my name's Victoria and I have an addiction to books.) (Hi Victoria) I decided to read a romance to give my brain a mini-holiday.

Man oh man, did it ever fit all my "cheesy romance novel" stereotypes. I'm not exaggerating when I say I rolled my eyes while reading the first chapter.

I really did.

Actually.

Literally.

And for the majority of the book I was groaning at the clichés and formulaic writing and how it all just worked out the way I knew it would and how it reminded me of what I used to think love was like and how I still secretly wish I could find a hunky hunky dream of a man who'd fall for me at first glance, but MAN was this book even cheesy.

But now that I'm done the book and the eye-rolling has ceased and it all worked out happily (just like I knew it would) I find myself missing the characters and wishing I was still reading it.

Go figure.

'Til It's Gone

For the past few months (and the only reason I know this is that it correlates to me buying my car) there's this one light I stop at on my drive to work that's right in front of a coffee shop.

For whatever reason, one morning, I glanced over into the coffee shop and noticed an older gentleman sitting on a stool by the window, drinking from his red re-usable mug, reading his paper.

I smiled to myself, because he seemed cozy and happy, and I drove off to work.

The next morning, again, for whatever reason, when I stopped at that light, I glanced over again to see if he was there.

He was and I smiled and headed on my way.

Months I did this.

Months he was there.

And for all I know, had been there for months before I just happened, for whatever reason, to look over and see him there enjoying his morning ritual.

The reason I mention it now is that I hadn't really noticed I was doing this; looking out for my morning drive buddy, until I noticed him *not* being there a few days ago.

And now I find myself missing him, worrying about him, hoping he's ok.

It's funny the little things that become a part of your life without you even knowing. And the people that are a part of your day without them even knowing.

I wish someone else would start sitting in his seat if he's not going to be there, reading his paper, drinking from his red re-usable mug.

Another Thing

Another thing about my new car?

I finally understand why some people love to drive.

I've found if I drive along beach drive (which is a road along the water here in town) at night with no one there but me and my music and no streetlights to stop me, it's just so relaxing.

And that's nice.

Really nice.