Tuesday 31 May 2011

Dude. Seriously.

If I didn't feel like it was a breach of confidence or somehow ethically icky, I'd share with you the things I've read on some of the (insert name of online dating site here)'s guys profiles.

Guys who are saying things ON PURPOSE that I can't believe someone would say out loud, never mind put on a profile where they were searching for a romantic partner.

Things that are so hostile or rude that I want to reach through the computer screen and slap the guy on behalf of all the women in the world.

Things that make me laugh because really? Do you think someone will want to date you after you've said that?

I was over at C-Dawg's this weekend and we were both noodling around on our computers.

She was sending emails and I was checking out profiles on the online dating site.

I kept finding these profiles and reading bits of them out to her and she wouldn't believe me so I'd end up having to take my computer over to where she was sitting just to prove that yes, someone actually did say that.

For real.

Or there are the inadvertent typos that I'd tell you about if it wasn't mean to make fun of people.

Like the guy who's looking for his sweatheart.

Ahem.

But like I said, telling you these things feels mean or unkind or un-nice, so I'll just have to keep the stories to myself.

Well, to myself and C-Dawg and whoever else happens to be around the next time I come across a keeper like the guy who won't date you unless you can do the Grouse Grind in less than an hour* and unless you don't have to go to the bathroom more than once on a four hour date.

No, seriously.



*Which, by the way, if you can, you rock!

10 comments:

Just Sayin... said...

Jilted men are way worse than jaded women. At least most of us know not to sell ourselves like losers on the interzweb.

Miz Aventures said...

I think you should just spill the beans...or point these guys in my direction and I'll make fun of them.

Victoria said...

Are they JS? Maybe!

Miz A, get thee over to a... "fishy" site and search for men in Victoria and have a field day with the fun-making! :)

Miz Aventures said...

Since I am already member of such site, I just might! Haha.

Single and Picky said...

I came across a lot of the similar types of things when I did online dating. It was funny because I was harassed for having specific requirements - I was vegan at the time, wasn't looking for one but needed the person to understand that I was. But when I looked, it seemed like all the athletic/healthy guys wanted really specific things - waist sizes, marathon times etc. I felt like saying WTF have we done here? Finding a mate is not like picking out a wardrobe from IKEA.

Just because I'm not a no curves, size 2, Boston Marathon qualifier does not make me less of a person. But maybe the fact that I know it doesn't, is even better than dating that schmuck

Maplemusketeer said...

*facepalm*

From much conversation with yonder female gender I've definitely understood that most of the guys profiles on a "certain" site but likely most sites continue to basically portray men as generally rather... well.. buffoonish and sex driven. And I guess I feel kinda sorry for both the women out there who have to wade through that, and the guys who seem to have not yet learned a few really really helpful lessons.

Oh well.. kinda just really reminds me of the process of life playing out all about us. And I sincerely wish that someone out there compiles a book of such male statements and such (changing of names for some confidentiality being totally understandable) and publishes it. With a "guys... lets spell it out for you.. these are poor choices indicators".

Oooh.. maybe alphabetized with lots of primary colours :D

There has to be a sociology course or study on this somewhere....

Victoria said...

It is interesting SnP because I know I have certain things I don't think I'd date a guy if he did (like smoke) but others that even if I didn't want it, I'm not sure I'd advertise it... And really, if you won't date someone because their marathon time isn't fast enough... hmmm......

Jordan, but would any guys actually buy said book? ;)

Victoria said...

PS Mz A, enjoy! ;)

Maplemusketeer said...

hahaha other people would buy it for the guys ;)

Victoria said...

Maybe! :)