Wednesday 31 August 2011

Not Happening

I keep wishing Chad would text. (Or call.)

That he'd text and either say "I've spent this week without you and I was wrong, I do think you're worth it and I'm going to get over my fear of being in a relationship again."

Or "Just checking to see if you're ok."

Because if he texts to see if I'm ok, I have the bitchiest answer ready in my mind and I kind of want to rip a shred off of him. (Not that I'm that type of girl or ever have been, but my mind likes to pretend I am. I'd probably either ignore the text, or tell him "it's not your concern anymore" or say "I'm fine. You take care." or something.)

Or if he felt he was wrong, I'd want to sit him down and tell him ALL the things about him that I didn't like and that made ME not sure I wanted to be in a relationship with him but that I was willing to spend time together and get into a relationship with him because even though I'M scared about opening myself up emotionally and being with someone again I was willing to do it with him despite his shortcomings and faults.

And then I'd make him chase me for a few days until we got back to how things were when we first met.

But apparently that's not going to happen.

(Despite the fact that my heart and stomach seem to think it's him every time my phone beeps with a text.)

Sigh.

Oh well. I guess I really am back to the single drawing board.

13 comments:

Kimmie said...

I'm in this exact same boat with someone that I was hanging out with for a couple of months... I'm trying SO hard not to text him...I want him to text me and see where I've been, how I've been, of I want to hang out... But...I'm setting myself up for disappointment, and falling for it beautifully.

Sigh... I'm drawing right next to you. Chin up.

AmericanBridget (Jones) said...

If this guy is toying with your emotions in a negative way after days/weeks of no communication, he's not worth it. You're better than that. Deserve more. Focus your energy on what you really want and find someone new. I know, easier said than done, but trust me on this one.

Anonymous said...

You owe it to yourself to let it go and spend your time and energy focusing on the POSITIVE things in life.

Anonymous said...

shit! after one crummy day i craved and texted...ugh!
me: hope you had a lovely day, good night.
chad: goodnight, sweets.
that was it. no follow up call. no see/text/chat with you tomorrow or later. nothing.....awkward.
why/how do we get here?


Layla

Bailey said...

I totally get thing feeling. Its going on right now. He's broken my heart twice, over text, and we've gone out once. I had the chance to break it off, so I did. But then he came crawling back and i slowly forgave him. Now he never texts me unless I text him first, and never calls. I feel like the best thing to do is forget guys altogether right now and to focus on something else. But I can't. Sigh. Single again.

Singlicious said...

It sucks, I know. I can totally relate. Hell, I was just dumped after 5 1/2 months. And for the silhouette of a friend across a rooftop. Men!

Don't worry, there will be a new guy, soon enough, and you will have learned lessons that will help you. Being a bit more cautious on the front end is not always a bad thing. In the meantime, hang in there.

Singlicious
The S Word
http://my-s-word.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

i totally understand. i was excited about a new guy and he was texting every day. now i haven't heard in four days and i'm very sad. it's taking all my will power not to send a text to say hi... but i know how that story ends. at least it's nice to know you're not alone! hope this weekend will bring wonderful new things

The Ex Student said...

I would take this as an opportunity to take control of the situation. I know its hard (and as someone pointed out it seems like we're all going through it) but if you don't text you're forcing yourself to move to on. And really? Thats the best medicine :)

A text to him won't change a thing, its like being sad, so buying brand new shoes...till they give you a blister and you're back in the same place you started except with mangled feet!

Get the girls together, go for drinks! It's better than a text from any man!

Happydog said...

Aww this situation just sucks...I hope you still don't feel embarrassed about sharing your original excitement with us though. As a Winnie the Pooh raised in a family of Eeyores I was often chagrinned when things didn't exactly turn out in a new relationship, job or travel plans--Paris next year, really--so I enjoy that about you too. The giddy heart on your sleeve girl who anxiously hopes for the best. Damn the embarrassment!

Victoria said...

It's so hard when you just want to reconnect isn't it Kimmie? But, yeah...chin up...

Oh, I know, Bridget. It's just, as you say, easier said than done... You know? :)

I'm getting there Unknown

Well, Layla, it's easy to give the advice when you're not in it, so here's the advice. If he wants to talk to you/be with you he will. If he doesn't? His loss. I know,I should listen to my own advice, but... yeah, if he's not dying to be with you, find someone who will because you're worth more than confusion. As for how/why do we get here? Cuz... we like boys? ;)

I got a lot of helpful thoughts from the book "He's just not that into you" Bailey. Because, really, don't we all want a guy who's really really into us? I think you should move on from your guy as much as I should move on from Chad.

Thanks Singlicious, and yeah it sucks. Lessons learned indeed.

Yeah, I think we all know how that story ends Anonymous. Sigh. But, yes, here's to wonderful new possibilities.

Oh, The Ex, I've already deleted his number. First thing I did when he "dumped" me. Ain't going to be no texts from my end, that's for sure. ;)

I don't mind so much sharing with you guys HD, but a little bit about sharing with my friends. I hate the thought that they're thinking I over reacted... but maybe they're not. But I like your description of me... made me smile :)

Anonymous said...

Is his profile still up on-line? You could send him something mean about that!

BILE said...

okay you seem like a lovely person from what I can see, but really you need to stop thinking about him in any sense at all. Why waste your time on someone that makes you feel bad. Men are easy two figure out, they have to brains and can only follow one at a time and I think it is safe to say which one they follow 99.9% of the time. If you want my advice remember these few things. Men will lie about anything just to get into your knickers. Never give them a goal to achieve such as "I only sleep with guys on the fifth date" they will shag you and leave you. Finally learn to read between the lines such as "I'll let you know when I am free" means I will never let you know. We have to start playing men at their own game and stop being so crushable. So spend one hour feeling shitty cry eat chocolate, then delete the number put on something nice and move on.

Victoria said...

No, anonymous, he took it down while we were dating. But if it does show up? Ooooh mad me! ;)

Gotcha, Bile.