Learning To Be Gentle With Myself

(Whoops, guess who forgot that Blogger wasn't working this morning?)

I woke up Saturday morning feeling, for lack of a better term, vomity.

I ate a gentle breakfast and lay down on my couch. I didn't feel great, but I also didn't quite feel horrible enough to take anything for the stomach un-niceness.

After a couple of hours, I decided to nap for a bit. I kept setting my phone's alarm for ten minutes and then coming to and setting it again.

After an hour of that I said screw it, and turned the damn thing off and just napped.

I woke up around 2 in the afternoon feeling better.

Which gave me pause.

For the past few years, whenever my stomach feels less than good I always try to figure out what it is I did that made it that way.

What had I eaten, or not eaten, or maybe what was I worried about and had that set my stomach off or how else had I made this happen.

But waking up after my nap I stopped blaming myself and thought for a minute.

Hadn't I had to take a gravol in the middle of the day on Tuesday when I suddenly felt like throwing up while eating an apple?

And hadn't a co-worker walked out of a meeting on Thursday looking grey and headed straight for the washrooms?

Maybe, just maybe I was fighting off some stomach flu.

Maybe the not-happy stomach I woke up with wasn't my fault at all.

And maybe I just know myself well enough that I knew this was a "sleep it off and feel better" kind of thing rather than a "you ate something and now you're hurting so go deal with it" kind of thing.

Maybe I shouldn't always assume my stomach is upset because of something I did. There *are* stomach bugs out there, me!

And so it was a good reminder to be gentle with myself and not always be so quick to point the finger or be angry with myself.

I think this one quite possibly wasn't my bad at all.