And Then

I'm sitting here writing this after another perfect Sunday morning with Jay.

(He's been staying here while things get sorted out with his work and life, I maybe haven't mentioned that yet, but, yes, he's been here, with me for a few weeks now, and it's the most delightful thing.)

I was sitting here, reading about how the winner of the Boston Marathon is going to donate his medal and possibly his prize money to the city of Boston, and I was struck by how touching that is.

And then this song came up on my computer, and I listened and I started to cry.



I have this time with Jay.  I am so blessed to have him in my life, and even if him being in my life is not him being right here with me like he is in this moment, he is still in my life.  He will still be in my life.  I love him.  I love us.  We love each other.  Why would I throw that away?  How can I not just let it fill my heart and fill my life from now and forever?

"And I am done with my graceless heart..."

I have love.  My heart is full.

What else matters?

We have these perfect weekend mornings together, and this Sunday was no different.  We half wake up, and cuddle in bed for hours, an indecent amount of time spent just being together, dozy and close and cozy in each others arms.  Then we get up and make breakfast together.  This morning it was back bacon and tomatoes, eggs and toast.  With a smoothie chaser since it was both lunch and breakfast all at once.

I threw on his hoodie, and he threw on his cutest shirt (so say I) and he spent an hour taking photos of something he wanted to  transfer to his computer, while I sat and watched, smiling away at his focus and concentration and handsomeness.  Just a quiet mid-day of nothing much while the rain fell outside.