Saturday 14 September 2013

We Should Have Been There

We were awake at 7 Monday morning, and had the tow truck there at 7:30 to take us to the mechanic's.

And again, the people we met were so so nice.

We went back to the same place for food and they were happy to see us again.  ("They're back!" they shouted to each other when we walked in.  So cute.)

All we had to do was wait for the mechanics to finish so we wandered to the nearby dollar store (where everything was actually a dollar, not like here where "dollar" store items can cost 5, 10 dollars!)  And then we wandered into a Michael's where the wool was less than half what it costs here (dude!) and then we sat outside the local Safeway waiting for the courtesy car to come pick us up.

While we were there, we met another lady who was waiting.  With a shopping cart full of water.  Turns out she was a Burner from Germany who was waiting for her friend from BC (our province) to come back from checking another store for water.  It was kind of neat, but I also felt like I was missing time that I would have wanted to spend at Burning Man, so my feelings were mixed.

When we got back to the mechanics they had had to try three different radiators before they found one what worked.  (The first two had holes or something?)  And we noticed at least two other Burning Man bound vehicles going through their own repairs in the shop.

And then it was time for our big shop for food and water.

I felt like I didn't get enough.  I know I'd brought some basics (beef jerky and protein bars) from home, but still, I felt like I hadn't thought through what food to get and I felt somewhat under prepared.  But we shopped, and packed (stuffed things in more like) and then we went beaming down the road.

This may make sense to some of you but it felt and looked like we were in the Okanagan, the same sort of hills and we were blasting Harvest Moon and all was well.

Somewhere in the hills of California,"Learning to Fly" came on and I had my first cry of the trip.

The lyrics to that song have always meant a great deal to me, but when I heard "tongue tied, and twisted, just an earth bound misfit, I" I felt like I was finally breaking free of the fears that had always kept me earth bound.  Here I was on a road trip with strangers on my way to crazy wild Burning Man, having no idea what I was getting into or how it would go.  "Condition grounded, but determined to try."  And I had made it.  Here I was.  Learning to fly.

I had another cry when we put on Graceland and "Under African Skies" came on.  I think every song that came on with that album, I said "ooh, this one's my favourite."  "No, this one!"  But that song tipped me over the emotional edge again.

Something else I made note of on my travels that day is that not everything needs a response.

Something I really appreciated was that the travel partner I sat nearest to didn't feel the need to comment on everything, and it reminded me that silence is often all that's needed.  That sometimes people are just saying something to say it, or to make note, not to initiate a response.

We crossed into Nevada and I noticed more hills.  Hills and red... silt?  Rock?  Hill.

We'd hustled out of town as soon as the mechanics had fixed the radiator and we'd travelled through these red hills on a seemingly empty highway, stopping once to pee in the most deliciously scented sage bushes on the side of the road.  (It was lovely)  And then we took a left off of the highway and suddenly there were cars.

And somehow I hadn't thought it, but we got there and we were still not there.  There were hours in line to get through.  And there are 12 lanes of parked cars.  Car to car to car.  And people in outfits with packed cars.  And bikes.

But I wasn't anxious, and I wasn't bored.  I was just... there.

We got through the hours in line as the sun set and I kept thinking that Jay was already in there.  He'd texted me the night before that it was nearly midnight and he'd been in line for hours and he was happy, and I was... sad.

I felt like I should have been in there with him.  That we should have gone together and had we gone together I'd have already had a day.  That he was there having fun while I was here not quite in.

It wasn't an all consuming sadness, but I noticed it, and I was I guess, jealous that he was an entire day ahead of me, having fun.

We got to the greeters station, and in the darkness they welcomed the two of us who were virgin Burners and I almost cried when the greeter was talking to us, but the entrance ceremony did not affect me the way I think it may affect many new Burners.  Perhaps I was overtired.  Maybe it doesn't matter what I felt or why, it just was what it was.

And so with that ceremony, we were in Black Rock City.   At Burning Man

2 comments:

Dominic said...

If nothing else, you had a great soundtrack for the drive!

Victoria said...

Well, it was after several hours of electronica type stuff that I had to put my headphones in for because, well, that's just not my fave. ;)