In an attempt to un-do the backfiring somewhat, to drag myself out of the unhappy the last few days got me stuck in, I a) forced myself to exercise even though I felt far too heavy (emotionally) to do so and I b) hunkered down and went back on the site. I still don't know if the site will ever work for me, the whole process post messaging doesn't suit me, as I keep saying here, but as I said to my friend, it's not a door I'm 100% sure I want to shut, because I really don't have a lot of interaction with potential dates in my day to day life.
I'm sort of half debating messaging back the maybe-just-hookup guy to see if ... I don't know, he'd want to hang out, knowing I'm not up for cheap sex? Maybe I embarrassed him by taking things the wrong way, I don't know. But I haven't yet, because... I'm not sure. Just haven't. Can't quite figure it out, just more often than not it doesn't feel like the right thing to do.
I did come across a guy I'd met at a pre-Burning Man BBQ and then saw on the dating site, so I dropped him a line to ask how his burn went. I think at the very least I could meet him and have things to talk about since we do have Burning Man in common now.
I don't know, it can be really frustrating to be online. It can be really disheartening.
But, technically, I did find Jay that way... ironically, about a year ago almost exactly... so maybe it's just about ignoring the disheartening and frustrating.
Or maybe it's just a distraction while I do my best to keep moving away from missing whatever good there was with Jay and I.
5 comments:
Don't message the hookup guy back! Unless you want to hookup. You didn't hurt his feelings i can promise you that.
I won't. (Plus, he deleted that account and started up an almost identical new one!)
i feel the same torn feeling when I online date. it feels like torture but I nanny a 12 year old and a dog, so not a lot of potential mates there, and I don't drink making the whole bar scene unbearable and not fun. I try to like the people I meet online, I do but it sometimes feels like it is just a dead end. plus it seems that if i write someone i am interested in they never write back, and I never like the ones who write me! Thanks for always making me feel less alone in all this :)
Seems like you might appreciate this poster at the moment..
It can be SOOOOOO frustrating onelana!!!! (I think I keep going because I know people who have married someone they met on line so....)
I AM A CUTE PENGUIN!
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