To The Guy On The Dating Site Who Got .... Weird.

Dear Guy,

So you want to meet a nice girl, do you?

I mean, I'm assuming that's why you're on the dating site, and I'm assuming that's why you contacted me.

So, great.  It's apparently a good way to meet people.

And I'm sure you're not a big fan of messaging back and forth for ages, but you've also got to know that some (smart) girls, like me, want to message enough to get a sense of who you are before we decide if we want to meet you.

And you see, guy, you're a great example of why I do that.

See, we'd been getting along fine and I thought you were ok enough that I was considering meeting you.

Then you made that comment about how I should get over my cold "ASAP" so I could "hurry up and meet" you.

I guess that could be taken as cute but I sort of went... hmmm...

And then this weekend, when you messaged me to ask where I'd been hiding, and I responded, "under my blanket on my couch," if you HAD to message back with "want some company?"

You should have clearly indicated that was a joke.

You know, by either saying... just kidding... or using a winky face emoticon... or something.

Because to then message me back (after I tried to keep it light by saying no thanks ) by saying that I had failed your test of "adventure-ness, (which is not a word), sexiness, and love of [you]" made me never want to hear from you again.  Honestly.

I tried to convince myself that you were just being funny, but dude, it did not come across as funny.  Like, at all.

Just creepy and aggressive.

As if that wasn't enough, my friend, you messaged me again saying that I should spend the day thinking about how awesome you are and that that would make me less chicken to meet you.

Sweetheart?

That does not make me want to meet you ever.

Maybe it works for some girls?  But not me.  At all.  Not even slightly.

Sorry.

And to then email and ask if I'd followed your "explicit instructions".. I guess to think about how awesome you are?  Yeah... no.

So I'm sorry if you were just being your funny self, but you lost me there and I'm not sure it was awesome protocol to go where you went.

So my advice, my poor, lost soul, is to just keep it mellow and friendly until you meet the girl and see if your sense of humour clicks with hers.

Or if you weren't being funny, well then I would like to give you the advice to get a grip on yourself and stop telling women they've failed your test, are too chicken, and need to spend time thinking about how awesome you are.

Because those things just make us think you're really not.

Thanks,
Victoria

P.S.  You've heard the saying "never stick your d**k in crazy?"  Yeah well... I don't let crazy stick their d**k in me either.  Just FYI.