The guy and I started emailing back and forth, and the conversation was particularly heated (on his end... I was just enjoying it. Buddy could make a killing writing erotic fiction, just saying.)
I told him it was sunny and maybe we should meet! I figured maybe we'd hit it off but I knew that I was going to take it slow and not jump into anything physical right off the bat.
He asked if I'd send him another picture first (I only have the one on my profile and I'd sent him a more recent but completely PG one) and I was like dude, let's just meet.
And then he said he had to "confess" something.
He told me that he was sorry, he'd wanted to tell me sooner, but he'd just gotten caught up in everything and had been "captivated" by me, but he was actually in a relationship.
I really have to say I didn't see it coming. He really had been very thoughtful and gentle when we spoke. He'd assured me that he was totally ok with whatever I was comfortable with and if I said no that was fine too. He'd said it was all about what I felt safe with so he never came across as a jerk or creepy or anything other than an intelligent guy looking for a physical "relationship" rather than an emotional one (he said it was because his last breakup had been really rough and while he was missing physical intimacy, he wasn't ready to look for love again yet.) So I didn't think he was a creep or a liar.
Maybe that's just me being trusting, (or maybe it's me being naive about these sort of situation), but I was like, ok, yeah no.
I told him that I wasn't going to help him hurt someone, that I believed in girl code and that if he was unhappy he needed to talk to his partner.
He asked if we could have just a virtual connection, I told him no, that's still cheating.
He wished me well and said he understood and that he'd put up the profile in a fit of frustration and taken it down but that I'd captured his attention and he'd wanted to tell me but didn't.
I deleted all of our emails and his contact information.
I wish more people, if they are unhappy in their relationship, physically, had the strength and nerve to talk with their partner about it. It's the same thing I've said to Vince. If you're that unhappy, either try to fix it or get out of the relationship.
This guy said that his relationship was toxic and confused and that he really missed good sex.
I don't care.
But I was disappointed.
I'd gotten around to the idea that I was going to try having a "fun" relationship and I was sort of looking forward to getting to the fun stuff, and now that wasn't going to happen.
And I was mad that he was cheating on his partner, and I was mad that he'd strung me along too.
So there I was, Saturday morning, feeling thrown off by hearing from Jay, and then having come around to the idea that I could have a friends with benefits type relationship and finding out that the guy had pretty much been lying and wasn't single.
I was not in an awesome state.
