Crack is Whack

So it's May.  (Not just a rumour, I checked.)  And May is a weird month for me because if I haven't mentioned it before, my brain has a hard time remembering May and March.  So I'll be talking to someone about how it's already the second of M...and then my brain goes I DON'T KNOW WHICH "M" MONTH IT IS HELP HELP HELP and I end up sort of stopping mid sentence and then trying to remember if April has happened already and then I can say May?

Anyway.

I think I had a panic attack this weekend.

I'd had a nice day, but Jason and I hadn't connected much and I was worried about something or other to do with him (and/or us) and I decided to do my relaxation stuff and then just go to bed and sleep it off.

So I meditated and breathed and went to bed and wrote in my journal about how I was worried about whatever it was and all of a sudden I felt faint.

I felt faint and like I couldn't breathe (even though I was already lying down) and I needed air and it was not a fun feeling at all.

I couldn't text Jason (I don't remember why now) and I was about to text Jay because I figured he'd be able to calm me down but I decided to see if anyone closer was awake. I texted Vince and my neighbour and Vince was going to come over but my neighbour responded too and so I told Vince it was ok, and my neighbour came up and talked with me.

Talking made me feel better, but once I calmed down I still wanted to know where the panic had come from and why it had hit when it had hit.

I think it was too much caffeine.

See, I'm not a coffee drinker.  Not even really a tea drinker, although I'll have it some mornings.  Or an iced tea here or there.

But somehow I discovered that Starbucks has these "refresher" drinks that taste like heaven and get me all ZINGY with caffeine and C-Dawg and I like them so much we call them crack drinks.

Saturday was a lovely day and I started the morning with a walk to get some bloodwork done and I picked up a crack drink on the walk home.  Yum.

And then because it was such a lovely day I decided to go down to the beach later, and, well, I thought it would be lovely to sit and watch the water with a delicious (crack) drink by my side.

I didn't feel wired, but I think all that caffeine got to me and whacked out my system.

I've decided to lay off of refreshers for now and just go back to my sweet innocent iced teas now and then.  I can't tell you 100% for sure that it was the caffeine that did it, but the feeling was so icky that I'm willing to stay off of those drinks just in case it was.

It was not a fun feeling, that's for sure.