Oh Universe, You're So Funny!

I can't remember if I told you, which is usually a prelude to me figuring I should just tell you any way and risk it being a re-telling, but C-Dawg and I got transferred to the same spy building and have been working in neighbouring spy caves for a few months now.  (Happy grin)  Not that this is what the story is about, but it'd be weird if you didn't know that basic fact.

A few weeks ago, C-Dawg was informed that there would be a want-to-be-spy in training who would be observing her and that she would be partly mentoring.

This isn't a big deal, other than the fact that it was a surprise, but then we were told it would be a male spy.

This also isn't a big deal except that whenever a male spy is around everyone looks at me with raised eyebrows as I'm the only single gal around (sigh.)

Some of us were joking about what he'd be like and the "bets" ranged from an unfortunately balding twenty year old to a over the top caricature of a "flamingly" gay man, to my attempt at humour that my bet was that he would be my future husband.

Fast forward to Friday of last week when C-Dawg informed me that the spy in training was going to come by to meet her.  I finished off my secret spy diamond theft (nuts, shouldn't have told you that) and went into her spy cave (via secret entrance) to meet the mystery man and oh.

Totally could be my future husband.

Blush.

Suffice it to say I was totally embarrassed and managed to shake his hand and say hello before I had to run away giggling.  I pulled myself together and put on my professional spy demeanor (and cape) and went back to chat with the two of them about how we'd train him to hang from steel ropes in the middle of bank vaults and maneuver over and under laser alarm system thingamies.  (Please forget I'm telling you this top secret information!)

From the ten minutes I spent with him I can tell you I may be sporting a small crush.  He's cute and has longer hair (which he'll have to tie back during missions, duh) and seems very intelligent and worldly.  He might make a good spy, he might not have quite what it takes but I left Friday after work all aflutter.

What if he was my future husband?  What if he wasn't?  What if I liked him?  What if he didn't like me?  Why was I even thinking about this he probably had a girlfriend.  Maybe he was single though.  Maybe it didn't matter because he'll be annoying.  But I don't want him to be annoying.  Why am I freaking out about this? 

And I got myself so sort of stressed/worked up that I pretty much burst into tears over it all.

I've managed to calm down and realize that he'll be an interesting distraction and probably a nice person to get to know and that's all.  Anything other than that is improbable at this point and not worth getting upset over.

I don't even know, it was just weird to have all these thoughts about a guy I'd just met and know nothing about and I think it's hard to find a balance between being happy and hopeful and staying calm and realistic and just not expecting anything.

He doesn't start working with C-Dawg for a while so it's not even a big deal at all, which is good because it gives me some time to chill out and get myself together.

(Remember... probably not single, probably we won't "like" each other, might even be annoying for more than ten mintues at a time.)