Wednesday 26 August 2015

It's Better For Me

A couple of months ago I tweaked my back.  It was likely just twisting the wrong way or something while working out, and it didn't actually go out during a workout, rather walking back into my bat cave after a lunch time walk.  I suddenly could hardly move.  For seemingly no reason at all.

It wasn't much fun and I've actually taken a break from boot camp for a while to make sure I don't hurt it more permanently.

I couldn't get in to see my regular physio people as they were all booked and I was too sore to wait, so I made an appointment with someone new, in the same office as my massage therapist.  She was really great, and one of the things she talked to me about was the importance of changing my posture.

See, I have, if I haven't mentioned it here already, a fairly large chest.  I hide it well, but this seems to be part of the problem.

It wasn't the issue, per say, but in correcting the issue, the physio pointed out the importance of me balancing my posture.  And as part of that, the importance of me not hunching over.

I know I spend time each day at a computer, hunched over and she did want me to watch that, but more, she wanted me to watch my posture when standing.

I, as many of us do, habitually cross my arms when I'm standing, and this, for me, in part hides my chest, but also is comfortable.  And?  Rounds my shoulders and puts strain on the part of my back that's not terribly happy.

So she showed me how to stand and how to put my arms (on my hips, behind my back, etc) in a way that would keep my back straight.  But I almost started to cry. 

"But that will stick my boobs out!"  Something I've avoided since they turned up in grade 8.  And on top of that, I'll look snobbish, or full of myself or something.

But she showed me.  She showed me the difference in herself standing "normally" and then standing properly. 

She didn't look snobbish, or like she was sticking out her breasts, she just looked strong and confident.

Which, for me, has been a little bit of a mind-mess.  For my own health, I need to present myself in a way that portrays confidence.  That should be ok.  I should be proud of who I am.  But it just made me tear up.  I do hide myself.  My body, my shape and not only is it not great emotionally, it's also not, apparently, great for my body itself.

So I've been trying to re-consider my posture and how I stand and hold myself.  It's hard, because I've got years of habit with the hunching type stuff that I didn't even realize was hunching, so hopefully writing this post will serve as a reminder for me to be taller and straigher.

So if you see me throwing my shoulders back and down, please know that it's not to appear snooty, or to accentuate my chest area.  It's to keep my back strong and healthy.  It's better for me to have my body looking like I'm a superhero.  And perhaps it will become a "fake it til you make it" type situation.

My back's feeling better, by the way.  Still twinges every once in a while, and I've not been back to bootcamp yet, but we'll see how things are once I'm back in the swing of Fall and not holidaying.