Not A Good Story

Last night, while I was reading my book in bed, an utterly unrelated memory came back to me.

I really have no idea why it came to mind, nothing I was reading had any triggers or reminders but I all of a sudden found myself thinking of the one time I was taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Here's how I remember the events...

I'd gone out for drinks with my co-workers, and we were in a local, fun bar where you'd eat peanuts and chuck the shells on the floor.

In my mind, I'd had at most two beer.

I say this because I had had my beer or two and I needed to pee.

So I went up to the bathroom to pee and the next thing I knew, the paramedics were standing over me, asking me my name because I was on the floor in the bathroom stall where I'd been found and 911 had been called.

I was taken to the hospital and my stomach was pumped, or I was given charcoal, I don't remember and I kept insisting it must have been something I ate that made me so sick because I knew I hadn't had that much to drink.  My parents were called and came to pick me up and I think they were horrified that I'd drank myself into this state and I was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing and I think I just tried to put it away and not think about it.

It came up a number of years later when someone asked if anyone had ever been in an ambulance.  I said that yes, I had, but I didn't know exactly why and that's when someone asked if I thought something had been put into my drink.

I..... hadn't thought of that.  It wasn't something that was talked about at the time this happened, and it wasn't something that I knew anything about at the time so I always just thought that I'd eaten something bad or something.

But last night, when I started thinking about it again, I got quite upset.

I got upset because I really don't know what happened.

I think I had a beer or two. And even if I hadn't, even if I'd had more, I've never in my life drank so much I've blacked out.  I've had so much to drink that I've started to feel sick and had to throw up, sure.  I've had so much to drink that I've misplaced things (keys, ID) but never have I had so much that I lost consciousness.

Did I have way too much to drink and just not remember?  I suppose it's possible.  Maybe we did shots or something and I don't remember that and the shots kicked in from the time I got up to go to the bathroom and hit me that fast?  Maybe.  Maybe I just drank badly and it hit me and I thought I was going to be sick, lowered myself to the ground to throw up and then passed out?  I don't know.

But what if someone put something in my drink with the intent of doing harm?  What if my going to go pee is what saved me from something far worse than being embarrassed for having to be taken to the hospital for "drinking too much"?

The truth of it is, I'll never know.

I'll never know if I did it to myself or someone else did it to me and I'll just have to be thankful that nothing bad happened to me and that I was taken care of and yeah....

Odd what the brain comes up with out of seemingly nowhere, eh?