Monday 4 July 2016

When There Is No Beginning

I've been sitting (mentally) staring at the computer screen for a couple of weeks now, trying to figure out what to say.  Or how to say it.  Or what to continue not saying.  Or where to start.  Or all of the above.

That, combined with having gotten myself out of a blog writing process that served me well for a decade, or what do they call it... a workflow... a habit/pattern that worked... combining those two things has left me feeling like just kind of not.

I think also, if I'm honest with myself, there's another thing that's thrown my routines and computer space time into a bit of a spin.  And it's a weird one for me, but lest I distract myself with that story, I'll just assume I'll remember to come back to it when it's a more right time to. But yeah.  Triple whammy of things meaning I stare at this space and go huh... I have nothing to write about... what do I do about that?

So this... this is me forcing myself to take some time (on a sunny Saturday no less... but while my laundry goes, so I'm inside for a time anyway... TIME WARP.. ahem) to maybe sort through and talk with you guys.  Even if "you guys" is just me, talking to myself.  That's ok too.  That helps.  And it's maybe time I get back to a bit more of that.  (Oh, and no, I'm not tracking page views anymore, that was something I let go a few years ago, so I only know people are reading when they comment.  Thank you to those who do read, I hope my journey somehow helps you on yours!)

I remember years ago (funny to think my first Burning Man was "years" ago... 2013... how odd... I swear it was yesterday) someone commenting that they were frustrated that I broke my "story telling" up into several posts.  Sorry... but this isn't about the reader's comfort, this is me, babbling my way through whatever so things may be broken up, they may be shattered, I don't know.  Or they may be giant, long, difficult to wade through posts.  It's going to be what it's going to be.

Writing is a strange beast at times.  Perhaps always.  Maybe especially so when it's not someone else's story, but yours.

4 comments:

Jonathan Beckett said...

I've been through a similar mill just recently. Wondering if to carry one - knowing my mind will change over the approaching days and weeks - because it always does.

I'll always find my way back to your blog to have a read though - no matter what. You've been one of the most consistent writers I have known on the internet, and a huge inspiration at times.

Jonathan Beckett said...

* carry on - it would help if I could type anything today...

Jason Langlois said...

As the saying goes - you do you. My assumption is that you're writing for the audience of you, and that I enjoy and contribute and read daily is just a happy set of sprinkles that is the icing on your awesome amazing-ness.

Victoria said...

Thank you J.

Awww, thanks Jason! (Also.. now want sprinkles..)