Friday, 30 June 2017

Long

Happy long weekend my fellow Canadians!

Go wear some red and white why don't cha!

Thursday, 29 June 2017

In Other News!

It's almost the long weekend, yay!

My burn is now peeling... boo!

I twisted my knee turning the hot water down in my shower.  Are you serious, body?

The breeze this week has helped make the heat a lot more livable.  Plus it's cooler.  Yay!

Still pretty bummed that so much good candy/junk food has secret gluten in it.  Curse you Smarties and Twizzlers!

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

Kept

I generally don't say anything when I get to this point, I try to ride it out, or wait it out or whatever damn metaphor you want to use.  But, I'm not ok.

I've been through rough patches before, and many of them the last few years, and especially on and off the last while but right now I'm not ok and I don't feel like I'm going to be.

I guess I don't see a good way out.

Now, I'm not saying I'm suicidal, no need to worry on that end, I just have no way to calm my anxiety right now and I'm not ok.

I don't talk to a lot of people openly about what's going on in my life.  Part of that is I don't want to deal with their response/reaction, and I also know that not everyone is equipped to be supportive.  Or that the support they can give is not what I need or find supportive.  So I tend to keep almost everyone at a "I'm coping.   Not great, but "ok"" kind of distance.  That has worked for me for the most part.

Jason, in case you haven't figured it out, has been the exception to that.  I've been able to talk to him at my worst pretty much since I've known him.  It gets hard when his own stuff overwhelms him too.  And right now he's struggling a lot.  He's got a lot of unknowns and that is something else I don't do well with.... so my solid person doesn't feel solid right now which makes me even more panicked.




And in a serendipitous turn of events, guess who showed up right as I was typing that above sentence.... 

So now I feel a bit calmer... for now.  But man... I'm being hit by waves of pretty damn bad anxiety right now and it sucks.  A lot.

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Unclothed

This weekend was an exception (needed direct fan-blown air on my skin, plus all the blinds were closed) but I generally don't go completely naked when it's hot.

Now, that being said I do sleep naked, but still have a sheet over me, so... not.

When it's warm (but not deadly hot) I'll wear a sarong, but I just don't really *do* naked.

I'm not sure why, particularly?  Maybe it's modesty (don't want to be seen in the buff by anyone) or maybe it just feels a little better.  I hate having my bra on and so when I'm home, even if I'm wearing sweats or whatever, I don't wear a bra or undies, but I am really not all that naked.

I have nothing against it.  Have at it, if it's your thing, I just noticed it doesn't seem to be mine and since I live alone... kind of thought maybe it was weird?

It might have to do with certain aspects of my body, but I think it's probably more to do with privacy.  Maybe of those certain aspects.

So yeah... in the warm days of Spring and Summer, I'll usually not be naked.  Unclothed, sure, but naked?  Not... really.

Go figure.

It's like I spend as much time as possible close to naked, but not.


(Oh, and the flip side to this is that when I spend an easy Saturday or Sunday in my non-clothes, putting all that constricting stuff on to go outside seems like a really bad idea.  If I could wander around outside in my sarong, not worrying about it falling off or what people would think about how I looked... yeah, that'd be comfy)

Monday, 26 June 2017

Sorry

I hate to whine about the heat, but I'm going to.  Because (swear word) this was not a fun weekend for my body... and therefore me, with the heat we had (are having?)

In part, it's being in an older building, but even that would be mitigated if I had any chance at getting a through breeze.  Or... any sort of air flow at all.

I keep the blinds down most of the day to keep the worst of the sun-induced heat out, and I have a fan going to blow some air on me but the temperature in my apartment hovers around 28 degrees C.  Which... is not seemingly all that much hotter than what air temperature is "supposed" to be but those few degrees matter.  A lot.

And as we've learned from Burning Man... repeatedly, my body isn't all that great at handling heat.

I laughed a bit at myself on Saturday because I was working so hard at hydrating, but then when the heat got really bad (mid-afternoon to early evening for my place) I wanted to head somewhere but all the water meant I needed to be near a washroom, argh!  I went for a walk at one point to cool off and stepped outside into... pretty much the same heat and lack of air flow as was in my apartment.

*Dramatic sigh*

Heat, I think, is something you can enjoy if you're equipped for it.  Or have a shady backyard.  Or a beach.  Or... you know, air conditioning.  But whiny me also wasn't in the mood for beach-crowds (plus, needed to pee!) or people in general and while I might have headed out to a couple of cooler spots, Jason was busy all weekend, and I didn't feel like heading anywhere myself.  (I know, self inflicted whining)

I guess I'm super picky about my temperature range, and I know some people will read this and roll their eyes (I'm aware my version of "hot" isn't the rest of the world's version) but I wouldn't like to go through another weekend like this one, so if we get more heat, or another heat-wave type thing I'm going to have to make plans to not be around my place until... say... eight or nine at night.  Or... you know, at least spend some time somewhere less stifling.

Sorry to whine.... but I'm feeling rather sorry for myself and envious of those with yards... and windows on two or more sides of their place.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

Contractually Speaking

I can't seem to type the word don't properly.

I mean, I know I did just then, but when I am fast typing I 99% of the time type it dont'

Like my pinkie can't keep up or something?  And now my right hand has re-learned the word incorrectly?

I don't think I do it with any other contractions, but that one... just keeps getting me!

Thursday, 22 June 2017

Finished

I made the perfect popcorn last night.  It was just.... perfect.

I can never make popcorn again.  This was the pinnacle of my popcorn making career and can never be repeated.

That's how good it was.

(I don't even know what I did/didn't do)

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Context!

I'm trying out a meal prep service where they deliver pre-made meals to me and I just have to boil them to reheat them for eating.

I have not been feeding myself well and although it's probably a bit out of my budget I'm going to try it for a month and see if it improves my energy and health.  I'm pretty darn sure it will. 

I found last week that the pot I have isn't quite big enough for some of the meals and I know that Jason has some cooking supplies he doesn't use so I sent him a message a few nights ago "Hey, could you look to see if you have a big pot I could borrow for a while?  Mine isn't large enough for some of these meals."

I went to bed and, of course, totally forgot about the message and I woke up to this text from him:

"Can do on the pot."

I was shocked!  Had I somehow asked for marijuana?  And he was going to get me some?  WHAT ON EARTH HAD I DONE AND WHY DIDN'T I REMEMBER??? Oh... wait...

Pot.  The... cooking.  Pot.  Not... you know.. "pot" pot.  Ahhhhh... context.

It matters!



PS  Happy Summer (Winter for some) solstice my friends!


Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Whoops... D'Oh!

So last weekend, I was shooting an outdoor event. 

It was predicted to be cloudy/overcast/chance of rain and was raining when I left so I was in jeans and a t-shirt and brought a hoodie with me.

I brought a hat and sunglasses so help with the brightness, but did not think about sunscreen.  Not when I left, and not during the on and off sprinkle, sun, cloudy day.

Wanna guess where I'm going with this?

Yeah.  Came home to a not great burn (not serious but not not serious if you know what I mean?) that was the classic Farmer's tan lines.

In burn format.  Bright.  Glaring.  Red.

Sigh.

It was uncomfortable but I dealt with it.  But the burn lines were bad!  Like, wearing anything but the very tshirt I wore would expose the line.  Ugh. 

No chance at tank tops when it does warm up either!!!

So... this weekend, I was hanging out at Jason's place and it was sunny and warm and we were in the back yard chilling and I thought hey... I could even out my burn/tan!

Sigh.

So I grabbed some sunscreen, applied it veeeeery carefully to the old burn and purposely toasted my shoulders.  Kids, don't try this at home.  Adults?  Same.

I realized after a while that it was fairly one sided, so I flipped my chair around and tried to toast the other side....

And then I went home.

I went home and took off my clothes and looked in the mirror and oh man.

I now have... dark (for me) forearms.  And slightly less than pale upper shoulders.  And really weird bra/cleavage burn lines.  And?  A nice white stripe between the first burn and the second. 

So... I guess I have tan tattoos.  That I'm hoping will fade before people have to see them.

But yeah.  Light brown, white, red.  That there's my arms! 

Sigh.

Monday, 19 June 2017

The Choices We Make

I was struck by something the other day (no, not the crow) as I was walking downtown.

There was a woman walked past me in a business suit type outfit.  Her hair was (what seemed to me like) professionally done, straight and blonde, she had on a skirt and heels and a blazer.  She looked well put together and clearly cared about her look and how she was presenting herself. 

As I was musing about this when another woman walked by me. 

This woman had pink hair, with the sides shaved down, jean shorts, boots, and had several tattoos visible.  She also clearly cared about her look and how she was presenting herself.

It was this really... interesting thing to see.  Two people, very clearly caring about how they present themselves to the world on two very different ends of the fashion spectrum.

I imagine they might never speak to each other, but really, they actually have more in common with each other if you look at it from a certain perspective.... that of caring about how they are seen.

(It's also interesting to think about how the world will respond to them... humans... we're a funny lot.)

Friday, 16 June 2017

Janua...une?

I was home yesterday (my "neck" seized up... I say "neck" because these things are rarely the exact area of discomfort... it's often like oh, your small toe is swollen, that's why your neck is off!... sigh) and although it was the 15th of June, a mere week away from Summer officially being here... I was in fuzzy pj bottoms, warm socks, a tshirt and hoodie.

What chu talking 'bout Weather?

Thursday, 15 June 2017

Ahhhhhh

I'm nearing the end of a book I'm really enjoying (finally!)

I think actually maybe Jason L or someone else here recommended it? "The Name of the Wind"?

I believe it might be the first of three, will have to look into that and if that's the case, I'll probably have to find the next one too. 

In other news... this has been one of those "It's only X day?" weeks.  Like, really, how is it not Saturday?

My neck has been in revolt since the middle of last week though so maybe that pain is part of what's throwing off my time-telling abilities.

But man oh man these long days are glorious.  Rainy and chilly sometimes, but long and wonderful.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Hey Now!

Got bonked on the head by a crow on my way home yesterday evening.

It wasn't hard, and I wouldn't have known what it was but for the crow flying past my head!

I know they're protecting their young ones, I've been dive bombed once or twice before, but I can't recall ever actually being hit before.

I think it was likely a wing tip?

So, sorry crows, that I seemed to be a threat, I promise I'm not!

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Oh Come On!

I was politely escorting a spider out of my bedroom when it escaped.

So now I'm going to have to burn down my place and I can't even live in my car since I'm going to have to burn that down too.

Unfair!  I was being nice!

Monday, 12 June 2017

Relativity

Hitting snooze in the morning is sometimes my favourite thing.  Because sometimes those 9 minutes feel like an hour.

Ahhhhhh sleep.  I love you when you're good!

Friday, 9 June 2017

Oh Dear

I.... did not have a good morning yesterday.  Pretty much out of nowhere.

Felt a bit dizzy falling asleep the night before but that's happened before so I just powered through it and slept.

Didn't want to wake up but that's nothing new, but when I finally stopped hitting snooze and got up, I was incredibly dizzy.  But, dizzy in this weird way where I couldn't get my eyes to focus. 

I was blinking and blinking as if trying to clear sleep from my eyes and walked to the couch to lie back down.. but then my body felt very ill so I grabbed a bucket/bowl and headed to the bathroom.

Nothing actually happened there (to be delicate) although my body seemed to want to and made some.... er... effort to use the bucket/bowl.  And, worst of all I was covered in an awful, gross, sweat all over.

The worst of that passed (without incident, thankfully) and I took myself slowly to the couch and lay down.  Managed to pull myself together enough to send messages letting people know I was sick but that took about all I had.  So I slept.  Or, napped, I guess.

Woke up around noon.  Killer headache whenever I tried to stand or move. 

Just wanted something simple and salty so had me a gatorade and some popcorn.

Ate a bit more later and had a light dinner, but man oh man, that was actually a fairly frightening little while there.

Glad to be feeling better and hoping that was a one off.... not to be repeated.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Technical Question

Can my electrician type friends tell me why the phone almost always rings when I'm just getting up to go pee?  I'm just wondering what it is in the wiring or telecom... stuff.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Elect

So... for those of you not following along at home... we still don't have a solid answer from our recent election!

And I'm lucky in that it doesn't affect me directly (that I can think of or know of) so I'm watching the goings on with a great deal of amusement.

Or, ok, maybe not a "great deal" but at least a bit of amusement!

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Oooohhhhh. Ok.

I have long hair.

I've mainly had longer hair, although I did have really short for a while (didn't like it) and semi-short, most of my life my hair has been at least to my shoulders.  For the last while it's been past my shoulders, so long, but not, like, loooooooooong.

I can't remember exactly when, but a while back, the plumber got called to snake my bathtub.  "That's a lot of hair" he said.

"Oh," I said, "it's not mine."

Because I was really certain it wasn't mine.  I'm really careful with my hair and don't let it go down the drains.

Then a few weeks back the plumber had to be called to snake my bathroom sink.  "That's a lot of hair" he said.

"Uh... I'm... pretty sure it's not mine?  I'm... really careful?"  I said... a lot less confident this time.

"Well, sure... you may think you're being careful but it gets down there and then you have.... this."

So... I went and bought two drain covers.  Er, that's not the technical term I'm sure... but you know what I mean?  Little... wire basket things that sit in/on the drain to catch things.  Like... hair.

I was pretty convinced that it wasn't needed because I really am very careful with my hair.

But.

Yeah.

I'm super careful with my hair and yet, each time I've washed my hair, there have been a couple of hairs (I'm talking one or two at most) caught by the drain catch cover thing.

Which.... because it's long... it'll slide down there, and wrap itself up into a cozy little curl and then pick up... soap scum or whatever else goes on in a drain like that and two plus two plus two plus two... well, that adds up.

So now... if there comes a time in the future when my drains need snaked, I can confidently say "It's REALLY not mine this time!  TA DA!"

Or, you know, maybe there won't have to be a plumber called.

So.  Just saying.  They were probably right.  That was my hair.  Just two at a time.  Sneaky bastards!  (The hair, not the plumbers, they seemed alright!)

Monday, 5 June 2017

Let's Talk About Weather

No, seriously... the weather lately has been talk-about-able.

(Plus, I like weather!)

So... it's Spring.  Although nearly Summer, really.  But.. it's odd.  This Spring.

We had a week... a week or two ago that was hot.  Summer hot.  But it was very difficult to handle, and I think that's because the temperatures spiked suddenly.

Sort of jumped ten degrees in a day sort of thing rather than the gradual increase we're used to as we head into Summer.  A lot of people I know mentioned having a really hard time with it, and I know I did.  Even drinking more water and doing my usual "heat" stuff, it wasn't easy on my body. 

And then now here we are back in more "usual" weather patterns but it feels so cold.  Like the wind has a chill to it that is usually an early Spring thing.

It's ... a bit bizarre.  There's sun, wind, rain, chill, hot, and we've had a baby thunderstorm or two.  And that's not to mention the flooding other parts of the province (and country) have been dealing with or the snow in the higher elevations and the forest fire alerts and tornado touch downs.

I try to take weather as it comes and look at it as a seasonal thing and I will say I absolutely adore these long days.  And I'm not complaining about the weather, just the heat the other week caught me really off guard and my body wasn't thrilled.  And now I'm under blankets and wondering about another layer.  Go figure, eh?

Saturday, 3 June 2017

No, No, No, No, No, No, NO!

BABY SPIDERS ALL OVER MY CAR DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, 2 June 2017

Blink, Stretch, Smile?

I (don't really) want someone to film me waking up so that I can see if I do it the same way people do in movies and tv shows.

It always seems so gentle and natural on the shows... and so maybe that's what we all actually look like when we wake up?

I suspect not... and I certainly don't feel like it feels gentle and natural, but... maybe on the days I don't set an alarm it might?

Thursday, 1 June 2017

Alert! Alert!

Speaking of said car.... with the ladybugs (and knock on wood no more spiders!) and such.... I got notification of a safety recall.

She's already been in and fixed but it made me wonder how (and why?) they figured out they needed to fix said thing so many years after the manufacturing of the car.  (It's a 2010)

Hopefully no one got hurt for them to find out but it does make you wonder how many little things in things we use all the time are not quite as.... "good" as they should be.

But... once I start thinking about all the things that could go wrong on all the vehicles that are on the road with me it's a bad bad thought train so I try not to go down it! 

Oh, and they gave my car a little courtesy wash, which is such a nice, unexpected treat and very much a good way to make your customers loyal! 
Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2017 and then some.) Kay? Kay.